When Death Occurs
When a loved one has passed, please call us directly.
We will answer any questions and guide you through the
process of planning the funeral and carrying out their final wishes.
We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
No matter if a death is sudden or expected, the loss of a loved one makes us feel emotional and overwhelmed. At this time, even the most basic decisions can seem staggering. We are here to help you. The following is a rough guideline of what needs to be done within the first 24 hours after death.
When death occurs at home or a place of business
- If your loved one was not under hospice care, the police will need to be notified immediately.
- The police will be dispatched to the location and will place a call to the medical examiner.
- If the medical examiner releases your loved one to the care of our funeral home and the decedent's doctor has agreed to sign the death certificate, the police officer will contact us on behalf of the family.
If your loved one was under hospice care, contact the hospice representative if they were not present and they will inform the family of the proper procedures to follow. They will contact us when they arrive at the location.
When death occurs a hospital, nursing home or hospice facility
- The staff of a care facility will notify you and the necessary authorities immediately after the death has occurred.
- If our funeral home information has been provided by the family to the facility, the facility will contact us at the time of death also.
- If you are present at the facility when our funeral director arrives, we will ask you a few questions about your loved one's wishes and set up a time to meet with you to complete the arrangements.
- If you are not present at the facility, our director will contact you by phone to discuss these arrangements.
When death occurs out of state
If your loved one passes away in another state, you have a variety of options depending on what you wish to do:
- Visitation/service in the state in which they passed away- contact a funeral home in that state
- Visitation/service in the state in which they passed away and locally- have the funeral home you have chosen in that state contact the local funeral home you have chosen. The two funeral homes will work together to arrange transportation.
- Visitation/service/interment locally only- contact the local funeral home you have chosen. They will handle all the arrangements with a well-respected service to have your loved one transported. This way, you are only paying for one funeral home, instead of two.
Meeting the Funeral Director
We suggest meeting with our director within 24 hours of your loss to begin making arrangements for your loved one. While this may seem like a very daunting task, we are here to guide your and help you choose the most appropriate and dignified way to celebrate your loved one's life. Our director will help you handle insurance claims, obtain death certificates, select a casket/urn, schedule the mass/funeral/memorial service, among other details as well, all while making you feel as comfortable as possible at this difficult time. We are here to help and advise you and will work very hard to relieve the stress and logistics involved in the planning of your loved one's funeral service.
Information for the Death Certificate
We will need vital information in order to complete the death certificate. This includes:
- Full name and address
- Marital Status
- Race/Ethnicity
- Date and City of Birth
- Highest Level of Education
- Father's and mother's name (including maiden name)
- Name of spouse (if married)
- Occupation and Employer
- Social Security number
Making Arrangements
If no pre-planning has been done, or there are changes you wish to make, our directors will help you arrange the following:
- Scheduling the location, date and time of the visitation and the service/mass
- Selecting burial or cremation
- Choosing funeral and memorial products
- Scheduling with the cemetery
- Preparing a death notice/obituary
- Scheduling transportation arrangements
Our director will guide you through all these steps to create a memorable service for your loved one.
From here, everything can be personalized.
- Did your loved one have a favorite hobby or past time?
- What was their favorite color, sports team, or type of music?
- What activity was your loved one best know for?
Recalling fond memories assists with the grieving process and will help honor the life of your loved one.
Why We Need To Talk About Grief
Grief is among the most intense, painful human emotions, but it's time we stopped running away from it
BY JESS DENHAM MAY 16, 2019
Before my dad died, I thought grief was something that happened to other people. I thought it meant being really sad for a long time. It's true; he died on Christmas Eve and I have been really sad since. I know I will be really sad for a long time. But since that day, I have also felt anger; sometimes simmering, other times seething. I have felt relief; he was very ill for six years and now he isn’t. I have felt regret; for things I did and didn’t say. I have felt overwhelmingly, existentially anxious. I have also felt happiness and excitement and hope. I have laughed.
Comedian Rob Delaney, whose two-year-old son Henry died from a brain tumor in 2018, aptly described grief as a new black ray in your rainbow of emotions.
“I still have the other ones,” he said. “I have red, blue, indigo for some reason. But there’s now a band of black in there that wasn’t there before. It’s part of my life now, that black, and why wouldn’t it be? I try not to hate it. The reason it hurts so much is because of how much I love him.”
"Talking about death doesn’t bring it about sooner. It just makes us that little bit more prepared"
In the immediate aftermath of losing someone you love, getting out of bed, having a shower and plodding on in the simplest of ways is an achievement, a sign that somehow, despite the pain and sometimes your own will, you’re surviving. Be proud of yourself for managing.
There is no ‘right’ way to feel or act; no neat, linear path to recovery. Those ‘five stages of grief’ you’ve heard of? Swiss psychiatrist Dr Elizabeth Kübler- Ross first proposed them in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, for people coming to terms with their own terminal illness, not the death of a loved one. They might reflect your personal experience of bereavement; they might not. It’s okay either way.
The one certainty in life is that we will die. Most of us will suffer major loss. It makes sense to be scared; our survival instinct is innate. But talking about death doesn’t bring it about sooner. It just makes us that little bit more prepared for something nobody can really prepare for. It helps us better support those living our own biggest fears.
I sometimes feel like an alien in the company of those not yet in ‘the club’. But never is the sense of isolation and otherness more acute than when my grief goes unacknowledged. Contrary to what a song popularized by an ex- Boyzone singer might have you believing, you do not say it best when you say nothing at all.
"Never is the sense of isolation and otherness more acute than when my grief goes unacknowledged"
Chances are, your bereaved friend has just endured a perspective earthquake of off-the-Richter-Scale magnitude. Failing to mention what’s happened is akin to treating us as if all we felt was a tiny tremor. It risks making us feel like you only want us around when we’re jolly. When we can pretend everything is fine. When it’s easy for you. In the throes of grief, it’s hard to believe that you’re staying silent for our sake. Forget about platitudes. “He’s in a better place,” for example. No, he’s not, he’d rather be here with us. “You’re so strong.” My dad just died. Right now, I don’t feel strong. Please let me be vulnerable.
I’m lucky to have many friends who have shown an ability to sincerely sympathize, even where they can’t empathize. The most special handful regularly check in on how I’m holding up. One came over just days after hearing our news, gave my mum a big hug and took me out for the first fresh air I’d had in what felt like forever.
"For those grieving and feeling alone, know that you aren’t"
It’s easy to show up for birthday parties, weddings, any event where joy and revelry are on the menu. It takes stronger character to put your own awkwardness and discomfort to one side, sit alongside another’s suffering, offer your presence and listen without trying to fix the unfixable.
But what do you say? Everyone’s different and it can be tricky to know. How are you supposed to? Chatting to friends about death isn’t on the curriculum. It should be. Try, “I know you’ve had a super tough time lately, how are you doing at the moment?”, then let us answer. We won’t always cry on you. But if we do get emotional, it’s because we’re already feeling bloody rough. It’s not your fault. Reminders aren’t a thing when you rarely stop thinking about somebody. If we want to talk, we’ll be grateful for the chance to shuffle off some of the load. If we don’t, we’ll still be grateful you gave us the option.
For those grieving and feeling alone, know that you aren’t. I thought I was for a while. Then I found the rightly acclaimed podcast Griefcast, ‘funny people talking about death and grief’, which spoke to me like nothing else has. I learned who my friends are. I see a kind and patient therapist who is helping me slowly accept the woman this experience has made me, and how to like her.
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