Burial Services
Traditionally, a burial service involves a visitation, followed by a Mass of Christian Burial or Funeral Service in a church, or other place of worship. It can also be held in our funeral home. The casket is typically present at both these events, and it is your decision on whether to have the casket open or closed. You have the option of having the remains interred (earth burial), or it may be entombed in a crypt inside a mausoleum (above ground burial). Family or religious traditions are often a factor for choosing burial. Decisions need to be made on whether the body needs to be embalmed, what kind of casket to use, what cemetery to use and what to put on the gravestone.
Burial FAQ
What is opening and closing and why is it so expensive?
Opening and closing fees can include up to and beyond 50 separate services provided by the cemetery. Typically, the opening and closing fee include administration and permanent record keeping (determining ownership, obtaining permission and the completion of other documentation which may be required, entering the interment particulars in the interment register, maintaining all legal files); opening and closing the grave (locating the grave and laying out the boundaries, excavating and filling the interment space); installation and removal of the lowering device; placement and removal of artificial grass dressing and coco-matting at the grave site, leveling, tamping, re-grading and sodding the grave site and leveling and re-sodding the grave if the earth settles.
Can we dig our own grave to avoid the charge for opening and closing?
The actual opening and closing of the grave is just one component of the opening and closing fee. Due to safety issues which arise around the use of machinery on cemetery property and the protection of other gravesites, the actual opening and closing of the grave is conducted by cemetery grounds personnel only.
Why is having a place to visit so important?
To remember and to be remembered are natural human needs. A permanent memorial in a cemetery provides a focal point for remembrance and memorializing the deceased. Throughout human history, memorialization of the dead has been a key component of almost every culture. Psychologists say that remembrance practices, from the funeral or memorial service to permanent memorialization, serve an important emotional function for survivors by helping them bring closure and allowing the healing process to begin. Providing a permanent resting place for the deceased is a dignified treatment for your loved one, which fulfills the natural human desire for memorialization.
How soon after or how long after a death must an individual be buried?
There is no law that states a specific time from for burial. Considerations that will affect timeline include the need to secure all permits and authorizations, notification of family and friends, preparation of cemetery site and religious considerations. Public heath laws may have limitations on the maximum length of time allowed to pass prior to final disposition. Please call us. We can help you with more specific details.
Does a body have to be embalmed before it is buried?
No. Embalming is a choice which depends on factors like if there is to be an open casket viewing of the body or if there is to be an extended time between death and internment. Public health laws may require embalming if the body is going to be transported by air or rail. However, most cemeteries require embalming if you plan to be placed in a mausoleum. You can check with your cemetery to see what their regulations are.
What options are available besides ground burial?
Besides ground burial, some cemeteries offer interment in lawn crypts or entombment in mausoleums. In addition, most cemeteries provide choices for those who have selected cremation. These often include placement of cremated remains in a niche of a columbarium or interment in an urn space.
What are burial vaults and grave liners?
These are the outside containers into which the casket is placed. Burial vaults are designed to protect the casket and may be made of a variety or combination of materials including concrete, stainless steel, galvanized steel, copper, bronze, plastic or fiberglass. A grave liner is a lightweight version of a vault which simply keeps the grave surface from sinking in.
Must I purchase a burial vault?
Most large, active cemeteries have regulations that require the use of a basic grave liner for maintenance and safety purposes. Either a grave liner or a burial vault will satisfy these requirements. Some smaller rural or churchyard cemeteries do not require use of a container to surround the casket in the grave.
Why We Need To Talk About Grief
Grief is among the most intense, painful human emotions, but it's time we stopped running away from it
BY JESS DENHAM MAY 16, 2019
Before my dad died, I thought grief was something that happened to other people. I thought it meant being really sad for a long time. It's true; he died on Christmas Eve and I have been really sad since. I know I will be really sad for a long time. But since that day, I have also felt anger; sometimes simmering, other times seething. I have felt relief; he was very ill for six years and now he isn’t. I have felt regret; for things I did and didn’t say. I have felt overwhelmingly, existentially anxious. I have also felt happiness and excitement and hope. I have laughed.
Comedian Rob Delaney, whose two-year-old son Henry died from a brain tumor in 2018, aptly described grief as a new black ray in your rainbow of emotions.
“I still have the other ones,” he said. “I have red, blue, indigo for some reason. But there’s now a band of black in there that wasn’t there before. It’s part of my life now, that black, and why wouldn’t it be? I try not to hate it. The reason it hurts so much is because of how much I love him.”
"Talking about death doesn’t bring it about sooner. It just makes us that little bit more prepared"
In the immediate aftermath of losing someone you love, getting out of bed, having a shower and plodding on in the simplest of ways is an achievement, a sign that somehow, despite the pain and sometimes your own will, you’re surviving. Be proud of yourself for managing.
There is no ‘right’ way to feel or act; no neat, linear path to recovery. Those ‘five stages of grief’ you’ve heard of? Swiss psychiatrist Dr Elizabeth Kübler- Ross first proposed them in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, for people coming to terms with their own terminal illness, not the death of a loved one. They might reflect your personal experience of bereavement; they might not. It’s okay either way.
The one certainty in life is that we will die. Most of us will suffer major loss. It makes sense to be scared; our survival instinct is innate. But talking about death doesn’t bring it about sooner. It just makes us that little bit more prepared for something nobody can really prepare for. It helps us better support those living our own biggest fears.
I sometimes feel like an alien in the company of those not yet in ‘the club’. But never is the sense of isolation and otherness more acute than when my grief goes unacknowledged. Contrary to what a song popularized by an ex- Boyzone singer might have you believing, you do not say it best when you say nothing at all.
"Never is the sense of isolation and otherness more acute than when my grief goes unacknowledged"
Chances are, your bereaved friend has just endured a perspective earthquake of off-the-Richter-Scale magnitude. Failing to mention what’s happened is akin to treating us as if all we felt was a tiny tremor. It risks making us feel like you only want us around when we’re jolly. When we can pretend everything is fine. When it’s easy for you. In the throes of grief, it’s hard to believe that you’re staying silent for our sake. Forget about platitudes. “He’s in a better place,” for example. No, he’s not, he’d rather be here with us. “You’re so strong.” My dad just died. Right now, I don’t feel strong. Please let me be vulnerable.
I’m lucky to have many friends who have shown an ability to sincerely sympathize, even where they can’t empathize. The most special handful regularly check in on how I’m holding up. One came over just days after hearing our news, gave my mum a big hug and took me out for the first fresh air I’d had in what felt like forever.
"For those grieving and feeling alone, know that you aren’t"
It’s easy to show up for birthday parties, weddings, any event where joy and revelry are on the menu. It takes stronger character to put your own awkwardness and discomfort to one side, sit alongside another’s suffering, offer your presence and listen without trying to fix the unfixable.
But what do you say? Everyone’s different and it can be tricky to know. How are you supposed to? Chatting to friends about death isn’t on the curriculum. It should be. Try, “I know you’ve had a super tough time lately, how are you doing at the moment?”, then let us answer. We won’t always cry on you. But if we do get emotional, it’s because we’re already feeling bloody rough. It’s not your fault. Reminders aren’t a thing when you rarely stop thinking about somebody. If we want to talk, we’ll be grateful for the chance to shuffle off some of the load. If we don’t, we’ll still be grateful you gave us the option.
For those grieving and feeling alone, know that you aren’t. I thought I was for a while. Then I found the rightly acclaimed podcast Griefcast, ‘funny people talking about death and grief’, which spoke to me like nothing else has. I learned who my friends are. I see a kind and patient therapist who is helping me slowly accept the woman this experience has made me, and how to like her.
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